PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. 1 out of 10 AVNs I see are worth continuing beyond 30 mins-first hour, and yours is definitely one of that 10%. Characters without the usual trite foibles (a protagonist I don't hate!); pretty damned good animation; lovely characters; real good dialogue and monologue; and a unique story that draws you in, and isn't the same, tired, shallow pervert protagonist in a sea of dull, shallow perverts.
I will say the joking banter back and forth is fine, even at times hilarious; however, too much and you risk it becoming tiring. A nice balance of humor will do your writing justice, as this story is not slapstick, and the friends, though crude to each other, seem to have a deep, inner connection that more serious interaction can bring out.
I also really like the sprinkling of sex scenes rather than beating the reader over the head constantly...if one wants porn alone, there is plenty of that available. You've developed your characters and scenes, thereby building expectations and desire. For example, the protagonist's ex-wife is angry, mean-spirited, and yet you have made me not hate her, and indeed I found myself wondering whether and hoping they grow closer.
And when you opened your sex scenes they aren't some rushed job. I think you could tease the reader even more through "camera angle" that obscures or limits while building each additional step in the sex scene in careful yet purposeful strides. The art is in the build up and less in the release. I think you have that going in your work real well.
Thanks for this work so far! I will give this one support and follow the VN's development.
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Very surprised on this one. Very much looking forward to more of the story.
Thank you! I really appreciate it! 😄
PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. 1 out of 10 AVNs I see are worth continuing beyond 30 mins-first hour, and yours is definitely one of that 10%. Characters without the usual trite foibles (a protagonist I don't hate!); pretty damned good animation; lovely characters; real good dialogue and monologue; and a unique story that draws you in, and isn't the same, tired, shallow pervert protagonist in a sea of dull, shallow perverts.
I will say the joking banter back and forth is fine, even at times hilarious; however, too much and you risk it becoming tiring. A nice balance of humor will do your writing justice, as this story is not slapstick, and the friends, though crude to each other, seem to have a deep, inner connection that more serious interaction can bring out.
I also really like the sprinkling of sex scenes rather than beating the reader over the head constantly...if one wants porn alone, there is plenty of that available. You've developed your characters and scenes, thereby building expectations and desire. For example, the protagonist's ex-wife is angry, mean-spirited, and yet you have made me not hate her, and indeed I found myself wondering whether and hoping they grow closer.
And when you opened your sex scenes they aren't some rushed job. I think you could tease the reader even more through "camera angle" that obscures or limits while building each additional step in the sex scene in careful yet purposeful strides. The art is in the build up and less in the release. I think you have that going in your work real well.
Thanks for this work so far! I will give this one support and follow the VN's development.
Thanks a lot for the kind words! It's so nice to read opinions like this <3
This is a really nice adult visual novel so far. I haven't played one centered around racing yet. I'll be sure to follow the story. 10/10
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Thank you! 🥰
you're welcome :)
hi any femdom in this game and character name, please?
or dominating personality female character name
if its future tag please can u tell character name ?